Admittedly, there's always a small part of me that feels worried when he heads off for work. Given the lateness of the hour, the prevalence of poverty in the country, and the questionable trust-worthiness of even the police force, I always have a small part of me that juggles unwanted fears the moment he leaves the Sietch. Then again, I always did have a paranoid mind. (You can ask rOckY about how my brain is getting all messed up by Haruki Murakami's The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles! HEhhehhe!)
Fears circled around me like a shark that was struggling to survive. Insecurities bobbed around and mingled with happy memories. There was the pain of dealing with the loss of a friend, and the difficulties of knowing whether or not things were going to be better work-wise, financially, and even in terms of my family. But even through the roughest waters and the murkiest moments, Rocky reminded me of his presence in my life and anchored me to the truth of the matter: We were together and we were going to survive anything together.
And now, a few scant weeks left before the last year of the world (according to so many doomsayers who misinterpret the Mayan beliefs) I am sitting at the Sietch typing up a blog post with a smile on my face. The journey with rOckY in my life continues to be blessed with so many wonderful moments and enveloped with a love so great it reaches out and touches if not changes others as well. Everything from the small stuff like supporting me in finishing my (often ignored) online comic Diliman, to encouraging each other to reach for our dreams of writing and publishing our own work, to celebrating our geekdoms and filling our flat with Transformers, books, graphic novels, video games, board games and all these other things that so many others would call junk.
|Boracay! Second only to... Puerto Galera!|
|Someday, we will have our turn.|
It ain't perfect. Seriously, is there anything really and truly perfect out there anyway?
But man, this is so close to perfect it seems insane.
I originally wanted to write this merely as a small update on my garapata blog, but now I realize I best post this in BaduyPride.com instead. Admittedly, I have my moments where I feel it is "wrong" to be this happy. Moments where I find myself unnecessarily thinking, "Others might say I'm bragging." Or as they say here in Manila, "Nagpaparinig." (Saying something loud to be intentionally overheard.) But I guess whenever there's a happy person out there saying his joy, there will always be naysayers who will try to pull that person down for reasons they will probably never admit.
It is amazing to realize how much my life has changed ever since rOckY chose to be part of mine. And wonderful to remember how there was a time I only knew him through www.multiply.com and told myself, "This guy... I wonder if I'd ever get to know him." Or how many times I told myself that friendship was enough. Friendship was all we were going to share.
It is not often one realizes how happy one gets to be oh so wrong.
Let the whole world end and take away everything we enjoy, everything we hate, and everything else in between.
At least I'm ending it with a life absolutely well-lived thanks to you.
I love you, rOckY!
|Gosh, this was so long ago.|
But yeah I feel the same even today.