Sometimes you find yourself wondering if you truly deserve the happiness you feel.
Sometimes you wonder if things are more a matter of luck, than a matter of fate.
Beneath every relationship is a foundation - for some it was the great sex, the intense flirtation, the wild weekend, for us it was the inner gay geek that wanted to find someone who "got us".
I know I was a horrible person.
I used to have a devil-may-care attitude towards things. I used to be demanding, and vengeful and very very manipulative. I used to think only my happiness mattered.
In fact, for a long time, that's what I believed was the right mature way to view love: Your Own Happiness Is Paramount.
Thank the gods I have discovered how wrong I was. And thank you so much Rocky for helping me realize that love can be selfless and yet very fulfilling. Love can be nurturing and caring without suffocating. Love can be trusting and risking and dangerous, but when faced alone, all obstacles and trials become surmountable.
We found each other and build foundations that we never thought of as things that could be the frame work of a long and lasting love. We found ways to mix our lives together, stay individual, yet cherish and celebrate each and every single day.
I love you, Rocky.
I know I should post more frequently here in Baduy Pride, and I know I used to find time to do so. My juggling so many things has knocked me silly sometimes, but I definitely have not lost sight of us.
The foundations are strong.
I love you Rocky.
Happy One Year and One Month!