Sunday, February 26, 2017
I'm hardly perfect. We can argue that no one is as it's a human thing, but that's not the point. We all make mistakes and sometimes we regret them and sometimes we don't. Sometimes we understand why things ended up the way they did and other times you're at a loss to provide a logical explanation for your actions.
In all the times I've stumbled in our relationship, I count myself extremely lucky that Tobie sticks it out with me. Yes, I regret the mistakes I've made and I do what I can to make amends. I'm not proud of my failings and my shortcomings and I hate myself when I fall into such pitfalls and traps of my own making.
But Tobie and I have always managed to work things out thus are and I count myself terribly lucky for that. We find our path forward and we remind ourselves of our commitment to one another and why we love one another and thus continue forward.
We've been together for over 7 years now and I considered myself quite blessed for every moment we've shared. And like any other relationship, it needs a lot of work to keep things going and Tobie and I both do our best to make things work. There's always the love, the fun, and the romance. But there's also the work.
I love Tobie so much. I can't imagine being with anyone else for the rest of my life.
Thursday, November 17, 2016
In the seven years that we have shared together, we have had a lot of twists and surprises, laughs and discoveries, stories and inside jokes. In very many ways, I know I've become selfish about a bunch of them, wanting them to be special moments that we keep just between us. And of course there are the tears and the painful moments we have to survive together. But at the same time, there's a lot of happiness and joy that we would like to share. A lot of things we wish others can learn to appreciate as well. To believe in.
Seven years today.
And the rest of our lives, onwards.
I love you, Rocky.
And Yoshi will continue to live in our years, along with everyone else we love and have lost.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Saturday, September 17, 2016
As with any couple or even any two people who have been living together for some time, day-to-day life leads to a near-infinite number of stories. For me and Tobie, there's the many stories associated with this silly little wooden spoon.
We first got this spoon as a freebie with some Pure Foods product - I think it was a box of chicken nuggets but it might have been hotdogs. But that doesn't matter - just remember it came free with some grocery purchase in 2009, the year we started living together. Back then we barely knew how to cook and contented ourselves with frying stuff or trying to cook things in our rice cooker.
Since then we've both learned to get around the kitchen better and we're a lot more confident. We've also purchased many different cooking implements including better knives and various wooden spoons and flippers. And yet amid all the kitchen gear is still this skinny little wooden spoon.
Tobie tends to use it a lot - it reflects his relative with some of the larger spoons or something like that. I always use it whenever I make flavored variants of rice like curry rice or pseudo rice pilaf. I guess it's because we always used that same spoon back in the rice cooker meal days and in my head it still feels like the "right" thing to do due to sheer repetition and habit.
Whenever I see the spoon I remember how far we've come as home cooks and how we are able to create much more than just canned tuna heated over white rice in the rice cooker. And thinking about such moments just makes me smile.
Friday, July 8, 2016
It has been a month since Yoshi passed away and the Sietch is a very quiet place without him. Tobie still lights a candle for him whenever we're home as his way of remembering him while also making it feel like he's still there. His dog bed still rests in the middle of the living room with his favorite stuffed toy Baboy still resting on it. The bed is pretty much where he passed away as well.
You don't ever fully "move on" from the loss of a loved one including beloved family pets. My heart still aches a bit when I think of close friends lost in recent years like Jayson and PJ, and now Yoshi is a part of that circle of departed loved ones now. It's easy to fall into the trap of second-guessing ourselves and wondering if we really did everything that we could have possibly done to help him. So instead Tobie and I do our best to support one another and focus on the good memories instead of the pain of his loss.
The last blog post that I wrote here talked about our treating our last days with Yoshi as gifts, and I still believe that. We got a good six months with him after he was diagnosed with chronic kidney failure and we were all the better for it. Yoshi taught me and Tobie many thing about ourselves through our care for him and those are lessons we'll carry with us for the rest our lives.
I still wish he was still with us, that goes without saying. I miss our happy little guy who'd help make any stressful day that much easier to deal with because of his unconditional love and affection. He really did something to change the way the Sietch felt like really added something that made us feel like even more of a family.
We miss you, Yoshi, and we love you so much. Hope you're having a good time wherever you are. Eat plenty of bananas and explore all the perfectly dry grass that you can find. I think you have Baboy with you, too, along with our love.