Saturday, July 16, 2011

Proud to be a Marked Man

Rocky was mischievous enough to leave me a tiny gift, as it turns out.  You can read his admission here.   It was funny how a guy in his mid thirties such as myself can still get all giddy and mushy over a hickey.  He was headed to work and I was headed to a fund-raiser for a few friends of mine when he realized the mark was quite visible while we were in the elevator.

I looked at my reflection and rather than feeling ashamed of having such an obvious mark, I found myself feeling mighty proud to have it.  I know, I know, its sooo high school to feel this giddy over it, but I couldn't help but feel like I had been given a small clear sign for others to see:  This guy has someone already.

Look at that!  That's like almost an inch and a half long!

So I headed off to the fund-raiser and somehow I was able to successfully focus everyone's attention on my other side.  Conversations would swing towards the right side of my face, allowing me to dip my head down to listen to them and use my face to block their line of sight of the said hickey.  In photos, I would hold my head to the side, keeping it well out of the camera's line of sight.  Insidious, I know.

Friends and me, at Big Sky Mind.  Photo credit: Niki Yarte
Around 1:30, I then excused myself to head for my favorite haunt: O bar Ortigas.  

I miss going here with Rocky.  Due to schedule differences, we rarely find the chance to both be here.  Most nights, I end up going alone after dropping him off at work.  On special weekends, we do go to celebrate with friends.  But usually I end up going alone, needing a nightcap to celebrate the end of another heavy day of having two jobs.   Sometimes, people ask me why I go out without him.  Or how he feels about me going out.   Some are even direct enough to ask, "Doesn't he worry that you're flirting around at a bar while he's at work?"

I guess that's where the difference lies.  I don't go flirting around while at a bar.  I go there to be with my friends, enjoy the great music, and have a few drinks.   But flirt?  Please.  When you find yourself in a relationship that is as special and inexplicably wonderful as ours, the very thought of cheating is... let's just say barring massive emotional traumatic events, I doubt there'd be any reason we'd not be in the right mind to even consider it.   And that's just me trying not to sound too proud about how perfectly happy we are.  (Stop trying to write it in a way that doesn't make others envious Tobie, just say it as it is.) 

Me at O bar Ortigas, circa 2010.  Photo credit: Rocky Sunico
So yeah, Rocky has no worries about me going out.  And tonight was going to be interesting thanks to the mark he had given me.  I had actually forgotten about it during the drive from Big Sky Mind to O bar Ortigas and was finally walking towards the bar when some of the staff outside the bar spotted me, greeted me, then stopped and stared at my neck.

The exchange that follows, while not 100% accurate, was to this effect:

Me:  What?  What's wrong?
Staff:  Talagang pinagmamalaki!  (Really showing it off!)
Me:  What?  What are you talking about?
Staff:  Naks! *points at my neck*  
Me: OMG! Is it that visible?
Staff:  Medyo malaki.  At ang puti mo kasi.  (Pretty big.  And more so since you're so pale.)

So yeah, for the remainder of the night, whenever I'd see the group of bar staff who had seen the mark, they would point at their necks to remind me they can see it.  Or jokingly ask me if I wanted more ice (supposedly to rub against it and make it fade.)

But then, I realized I didn't want it to fade.

Having it here was like looking across my table, even with Rocky still at work, and imagining I was staring at this:

Rocky at O bar Ortigas.

Rocky will always be in my heart.   Physical distances may sometimes grow, whenever he and I embrace the responsibilities work or family require of us.  But emotionally, the distance is never there.

I love being yours.
And yes, I was like this last night:

Woof.  Move along.  You'll know if you are worth my notice.
With good reason too.


  1. Is Woof your dog? Nice looking dog! :)

  2. Nah, that's just Tobie representing his true doggie nature, har har

  3. ah... a picture of the famous hickey.

  4. @Elmer
    Someday, when we finally have a house, we're gonna have a dog. Even if I am phobic of dogs.

    Tee hee. Famous? Or Infamous?


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